I haven’t traveled anywhere for vacation since 2003. I won’t bore you with the reasons why. Let’s just agree that I’m a bit overdue for non-work-related travel.

For the past week, I can’t log into Facebook without seeing tons of pictures of happy friends smiling on beaches. Friends toasting at nice restaurants and checking in from exotic locales. I don’t begrudge them their happiness. They are my friends. I am glad for them, but I think I liked it better in the old days when I didn’t get to travel vicariously along with all my globe-trotting friends in more or less real-time. The twinge of vacation envy wasn’t so sharp hearing about it after the fact, looking at a few dozen photographs and getting the distilled 10 minute travelogue.

I want my friends to keep having a great time. I want them to keep posting their pictures. What I want is a software solution so I can opt out of their happiness temporarily until I have steeled myself for the uncharitable thoughts and feelings that arise from involuntary vacation envy.

I want Facebook to install a photo filter that will automatically screen beach pictures from showing up in my news feed from the months of May through August. After that, I’m fine.

But, if Facebook is too busy dealing with its IPO fall-out and figuring out how to monetize the mobile Facebook experience, then I would settle for a third party solution. I’m picturing some sort of Facebook API that guarantees a vacation photo free user experience when I need it. Just something until the nerves settle and I resign myself to another year of not being at the beach and not being the smiling person toasting at some fantastic restaurant locale.

That shouldn’t be too much to ask.

I can’t be the only person who could use this.