Books are Dangerous

Posted on by
Reply

Books can be dangerous. They can infiltrate your mind with some else’s ideas. Books can disrupt your sense of certainty, warp your sense of the universe as a well-ordered place. Books can upend your previously held convictions. Books can instigate a full or partial code switch on your moral code. It happened to me.

I read two books recently that are having a profound effect on the way I think about myself and my relationship with the world: Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind by Yuval Harari and A People’s History of the United States by Howard Zinn. I think about them both through out my day. This post is not reviews of those two books. I’ll write that soon. This is just quick capture of a few things I’ve been working through since reading these two books.

From Sapiens: an understanding of storytelling and narrative as mankind’s most powerful technology. Narrative shapes our perceptions and beliefs. Narrative helps define us for each other what is possible. Narrative is the operating system. Religious belief, national identity, racial identity is the software running on the system. The software adapts and changes to suit the needs of the time. We think humans are the fixed apex of the evolutionary chain but everything that lives evolves. Our species continues to evolve. We aren’t fixed. There’s likely to be species after us. After reading Sapiens, I am captured in wonder at how much different our world might be if, as individuals, we could learn to see ourselves as part of  a larger species that comes before us and continues after us rather than isolated individuals crowding together in communities. And that species-conscious individuals might be driven to consider more carefully the true consequences of our actions and behaviors, how everything we do either helps or hinders the continuation of the species.

And from A People’s History of the United States, the understanding that — even more than liberty, more than equality, more than justice — the American system prefers stability and status quo to keep business operations moving smoothly. Elections and wars are used to channel unrest and dissent away from vulnerable politicians and institutions. Voting is great but only goes so far. In general, we tend to elect the same kinds of people to office and, once voted in, the office holder and voters work together to protect and celebrate the status quo. Direct action is the real work of democracy.

Make the Neighborhood Great Again

Posted on by
Reply

After living in my neighborhood for almost three years, I discovered  tonight that I know people down the street. My dentist lives just down the road a short piece. Parents of a high school friend live next door to him. I found this out in idle chat with Mr. Robert — retired Navy, robust frog pond, puts out salt for the deer. Our backyards share a fence. I went over to ask if he minded my wife planting morning glories along our shared fence. Some people don’t like morning glories because they spread quickly and take over. He was delighted.

He was more delighted at the opportunity to stand in his driveway and chat for a few minutes. “Nobody ever comes to talk. There’s good people here, but you never see anybody outside.”

That’s true. I had noticed the same. My family spends a lot of time outside. Gardening, playing ball, moving stuff around. We don’t see people often. We wave at our neighbors when we see them. Occasionally, we spend a few minutes chatting about something growing in an unexpected place or the heavy rain that swelled the creek last week. Less frequent, the conversation about what makes truly great bourbon and an enthusiastic preview of upcoming BaconFest (this is a real thing).

We have made our homes into self-contained, air-conditioned, entertainment palaces and rarely leave them. When we must leave it is only through the air lock of the garage through which we pass ourselves into the private confines of our vehicles. We live most of our lives encapsulated.

After the election, I have been thinking a lot about what’s actually broken in our country. I don’t think it is lost military dominance or a lack of ambition to do big things. It isn’t the Affordable Care Act or a rising influx of non-Western immigrants. The thing that is broken is our neighborhoods. The fact that we don’t know each other and what each of us is about.

After the election, we all collectively freaked out to find ourselves trapped inside media bubbles that distorted our views of each other and our shared reality. I tried to fix the situation by tweaking my news feed, following a few more conservative blogs and news outlets. It didn’t help.

Realizing that my dentist lives nearby and parents of a good high school friend live even closer, I wonder how much I am missing inside my own neighborhood. Perhaps exploring the neighborhood is the right next step. Taking walks. Stopping to say hello. Talking about bourbon and BaconFest and whatever other random things come up. We can start knowing each other as full people with interesting, difficult, wonderful lives. We can call each other my name and know the hobbies and curiosities that go along with us.

This may be more than just being neighborly. This may become a radical political action. This may just make our neighborhoods great again.

Evolution of a curious mind

Posted on by
Reply

I’ve been thinking a lot about this blog space. Thinking but not actually posting. When I started posting here in 2010, I thought I would reflect mostly on technology and the ways in which technologies, especially information technologies, shape my daily life. That was the idea behind the title. Ubiquitous because the technologies go everywhere with us. Quotidian because the most interesting effects are seen in the smallest corners of daily life.

I’ve written a bit on that theme, but I’ve also reached out into parenting, librarianship, leadership and higher education. Looking back over my most recent posts, it is a bevy of flash fiction punctuated by hot, bright flashes of political angst.

The point is that the blog has changed as I have changed. I’ve been frustrated and angry and depressed. I’ve been inspired and challenged and motivated. I’m not the same person who started this blog. I’m different. Not necessarily better, but maybe deeper. I know my interests are deeper. My anger is deeper. My joy is deeper.

The blog needs a new look and a new direction. So, I’m going to figure that out. You’ll bear with me, I hope. I’m one of those people who has to figure things out aloud in public.

The blog is still Ubiquitous. Quotidian. That is my motto. Reminding myself to pay closer attention to the everywhere and the everyday.

The byline has changed: “The evolution of a curious mind.” I’ll try to make a place where I can come to grips with the things that most interest me. This will be the place where I work out ideas and learn about my own learning.

It has always been good to have you reading along with me, making from these pages a weird, brave space.

I got lost for a little while. Like everybody else, I’m still trying to find my way.

Early Bloomer | Flash Fiction

Posted on by
Reply

After the screams fade and the blood has cooled, there is a uncomfortable moment of moral uncertainty. He is wiping off the knives, trying not to let himself fascinate too long with the rigid stares on their stiffening faces. Doubts crowd. And then the flies. He is always surprised by how quickly the flies are drawn. They live inside, he once read, burgeoning, always just ready to burst out.

That is what he does. The media calls him the Butcher but he is nothing so mean or savage. His study is the careful art of release. First the pleadings. Then the sobs. Then whatever secrets need to be shared. And only finally, the blood.

The news people get it wrong. He is not depraved. He doesn’t act only for the blood and terror. People carry secrets, things they need to confess but don’t know how to begin. He shows them the way. The inspiration of steel and a cruelly sharp blade.

Once they start, they often do not know how to stop. Unburdening themselves of every petty crime, every mean thought, every venal act. Some of these are saints, compulsively lamenting ridiculously small sins. Unbecoming thoughts, moments of uncharitable, unsavory decisions. But more than a few are genuine monsters — molesters, abusers, thieves, perverters of truth. These kinds of people beg the loudest and hardest for mercy. These he opens deeper and wider, letting the blood spill faster.

He works quickly, cleaning up the mess with bottles of bleach bought by the case. He has three wholesale club memberships and twelve deep freezers. He does not eat the bodies. That would be monstrous but one does not always have the time to clean up and bury the bodies. Freezers are a necessity. They are a public health amenity. He is always thinking of the safety of others. How the neighbors would want to know he had taken great precautions to avoid a public health emergency.

The news people were the worst. Always sensationalizing. Always conjecturing on identity and motive. The FBI had the wrong profile and the news people couldn’t keep themselves from sharing it out. A middle aged white man with long white hair and narrow set eyes. Hilarious, really. He was in his late twenties. An early bloomer.

The motives they ascribed. A profound psychological disfunction. A obsessive tendency toward neatness and order. An intolerance for disorder. Wrong, wrong and wrong.

It made him want to laugh except he wanted to cry. And he would scream at the TV when they showed his computer generated face which looked nothing like him. He had written two dozen letters to the local papers explaining how far off they had been and why they so desperately needed him to be a middle-age white man. But he did not mail the letters. That would have been folly. That’s how men like Gaussier and Grundy messed up. They told somebody. They wanted to be caught. Not him. He was doing a great service but he did not seek the credit. The world was improved by the working of his art, which was the careful application of selective release. The world could not understand, indeed, would not need to understand his work to benefit from it.

That is the true nature of real art. It changes the world even when the world does not see it. It changes the artist. It changes the canvas.

And the secrets that are confessed in those hurried, anguished minutes of exsanguation are carried with him as a special burden. A tax he carries for his work. He will carry those last whispers with him to his grave, knowing the world is better for having each part of the story revealed.

Inauguration Day 2017

Posted on by
Reply

In a few short hours, Donald Trump will become my president. I have tried to be quiet during the transition, watching, listening and reading. I have been trying to understand what slightly less than half the American electorate saw in Candidate Donald Trump way back in November.

So far, President-elect Trump still seems to be the antithesis of values I was raised to believe were most important.

I was taught to be careful and respectful, to listen and seek understanding before criticizing or making judgment of others.

I was taught to never mock, that name calling and intimidation were signs of a lazy, weak mind.

I was taught self-moderation, to never assume that I was ever completely right or that I could ever completely know what was best in the lives of others.

I was taught to be honest. I was taught that truth and facts exist, and that they matter a lot.

I was taught to value learning, skepticism and honest inquiry. I was taught to value reading, critical thinking and the scientific method — the understanding of the world through careful, objective observation.

I was taught to understand that character matters more than celebrity and that being popular for the mere sake of being popular was a clear sign of a damaged character.

I am worried. History teaches that countries following leaders who say “I alone can save you” are heading for hard times.

I continue to respect the office of President though the person about to assume the presidency gained prominence through proud exercises of disrespect for that office.

Some of my family and friends will be celebrating the fact of Donald Trump’s presidency. That’s fine. I won’t be celebrating.

I will focus instead on being grateful that I live in a democratic republic that, however flawed, practices the peaceful transfer of power. I will focus on what I can do to protect and strengthen the values which make that transfer possible so that in four years we can peacefully transfer that power again.

I am still trying to give not-quite-yet-President Trump some benefit of my doubt. His will be a huge job. We all need him to be successful. But success is not only about growing the economy, defeating ISIS and creating jobs. That’s part of it. Success will also be about unifying our country and helping all of us remember and practice our shared values and goals.

And so, on January 20, I continue to watch, to listen and to read. I continue trying to understand.

2017: Make Ready | A Prayer

Posted on by
Reply

2016 was a brutal year. 2017 is unlikely to be kinder. I stopped writing for a while because the things about which I was writing no longer seemed very much to matter. I have taken the time to read and watch and listen. I have been seeking patterns inside the noise and confusion that has become my life.

I am working with groundlessness. I am working with uncertainty. I am working with fear. I need to write true things. I need to do things that matter. I have been working toward one goal: focus. I have not found it.

I don’t have any answers aside from this: we have all been swallowed by noise and confusion, but this noise and confusion is not our actual lives. We are still ourselves though our surroundings seem unfamiliar and our families and friends sometimes feel like strangers.

On New Year’s Day 2017, I am still making myself ready.

It has become for us a habit to wish one another a happy new year. I wish that for all of us, but happiness, it seems, is no longer enough. Happiness is not purpose. Happiness comes from purpose. It is a way of way of working and doing and being.

And so, my prayer.

I pray that all lives be enlarged by joy and love and gratitude. I pray enough courage to do the right things. I pray to continue gathering abundant happiness along the way. But, more than all of this, I pray to make a useful life. May my life, my words, my actions help soften the noise and reduce the confusion for someone else.

I am writing with joy. I am writing with love. I am writing with gratitude for you all.

And wishing for each of us a Useful New Year.

America is Already Great. Let’s Keep it That Way.

Posted on by
1

I stayed up until 2am this morning watching election returns and woke up in a world that feels very unfamiliar to me. I’m not sure what to feel or what I’m meant to be doing.

This tweet from last night says it pretty well:

But the country isn’t all that different. Things haven’t actually changed that much. Yet.

Here’s Nate Silver’s take:

Something to remember: Whatever your feelings about the state of the country right now, it’s fundamentally not that different a place whether the final call is that Clinton has narrowly won or narrowly lost. Add just 1 percent to Clinton’s vote share and take 1 percent away from Trump’s, and she would have won Florida and Pennsylvania, therefore would probably have been on her way to a narrow Electoral College victory.

Apparently, the Canadian Immigration Services website crashed last night from heavy traffic. Last week I joked with my most liberal friends about packing go bags and digging bunkers. That doesn’t feel funny anymore.

I’m not going anywhere. I love this country. I am a product of what is great inside America. You are too. I’m staying because there is urgent, important work to be done.

Too many of us live in fear. We live in fear of violence in our communities. We live in fear of racial persecution. Some of us live in fear of the police and civil authorities. This is wrong. We can’t let this continue.

We urgently need leadership from the best among us. This includes women, people who aren’t white and homosexuals. We should judge people based on the quality of their actions and their ideas. We should find and follow the people with the ability to move us forward. We aren’t there yet.

Diversity makes us stronger. We are a nation that attracts and welcomes immigrants from all parts of the world. We need to keep our doors open to them. The people who move to America from other countries bring with them their best selves, their highest hopes and an eagerness to participate and contribute. When we allow them, they make America stronger and reinforce the world’s belief that America creates opportunity.

Abortion is a terrible thing. Nobody likes abortion. Nobody wants women to have abortions. But, women must remain in control of their own bodies. This is a most basic freedom. Doctors, lawyers and politicians should not be usurping the most personal, vulnerable decision a person can make. Restricting access to abortion and birth control will kill women and children. We should focus instead on increasing access to birth control and providing real support for women faced with impossible choices. We should provide meaningful help for children born into families that are not ready or able to give them a good start.

Oh, and science isn’t a belief system. Science is a systematic way of looking at the world to describe what’s happening based on observable facts. Climate change is happening and no amount of wishful thinking is going to blunt the effects for my daughter and the children in your life that you hold most dear.

Our worldview has darkened. The work ahead is daunting. I am very, very scared.

Its time to close our Facebook and Twitter feeds and actually start talking to one another while being brave enough to look each other in the eyes.

It is time to stop paying so much attention to the carnival of political personalities and start grappling with real issues.

There is a lot of difficult work ahead. We’ve got to focus on that.

If you are able to look me in the eyes and talk with me so we can figure out these things together, then we are on the same team. If you can’t, kindly step aside. We don’t have much time.

America is already great. Let’s remind each other of that in the weeks and months ahead. Let’s work together to keep it that way.

November 9

Posted on by
Reply

We need to talk about November 9. In just a few days, Americans will elect a new president and members of Congress. I used to look forward to Election Day and feel proud of our participation in choosing our leaders and helping in some small way set the direction of our country. Today, I feel sick with anxiety, dread and fear. I can’t stop myself from refreshing the 538 Election feeds and trying to discern what the numbers mean. I’m scared. You may be too.

Here’s the thing. You and I may be feeling the same way even while supporting opposite candidates. I support Hillary Clinton and desperately hope she wins on Tuesday. But, I have wasted so much time this election focused solely on my fear of Donald Trump and his message and not enough time articulating what I support in Hillary Clinton. Your doing it too. Its in our Facebook and Twitter feeds. Donald Trump scares me. Hillary Clinton scares you. Everybody is scared.

Our fear makes our world smaller. Many of my friends and family have become strangers to me. People I care about deeply. People I know to be good, thoughtful, caring people. From time to time, that fear becomes anger and those people feel like enemies to me. You may be feeling that too.

We are not enemies.

You and I have wicked problems to solve.We don’t know how to talk about race and gender. We don’t know how to talk about the role legal immigration plays in our country. Too many of us live our lives warped by constant fear of violence at home and abroad. For too many people, hard work and personal sacrifice no longer allows access to the American Dream. Job markets have changed. Despite the growing strength of our economy, access to economic opportunity is unequally distributed. Higher education is broken. Climate change is a real thing that is actually happening. The list goes on.

For the most part in this election, we haven’t been talking about these things. We haven’t allowed ourselves. We haven’t known how.

You and I need to start talking about November 9 because, no matter what happens, we are going to need to find a way to start understanding each other again. Whoever is elected needs to govern. The President alone cannot fix these problems. Congress alone cannot fix these problems. Its us. We’ve got find a way to start fixing these problems.

So I want you know this. I oppose Donald Trump and the vision for our country he represents. But you and I are not enemies. I want to understand you. I want you to understand me. We’ve got to start talking again and trying to find our way forward.

I wish peace and comfort to all of us in the days ahead. Let’s work to help that happen.

May it be so.

The Secret Meaning of Halloween

Posted on by
Reply

Last night my daughter asked why Halloween is a thing. I made up some ridiculous explanation about the very human need to celebrate the darkness inside each of us, religious traditions of honoring the dead,  a social custom that reinforces our appreciation for our neighborhoods and then threw in something about psychological relief from pent-up stress.

This morning I realized its really just a way to gather together enough sugar to power through the first few days of NaNoWriMo.

I’m Still Here

Posted on by
Reply

A few friends have started asking if I’m still here, still writing. Yes. Thanks for asking. It feels good to be missed.

I haven’t been blogging much because I have been focused on Other Projects. Oh, and the election, which I don’t want to talk about except to say it has been consuming much of my attention. I have been gorging myself on a steady diet of podcasts, news articles and social media posts. The end result has been outrage, crippling anxiety and a sense of impending doom. Perhaps you can relate?

I have a lot to say but have decided to try and keep my mouth shut. Nobody listens anyway. Everybody votes from the gut and then looks for comforting shreds of information to placate their nerves and justify their bias. We are irrational creatures.

I try to channel this weird energy into something productive, like writing an apocalyptic fantasy that arcs across three books about a corrupt king, a broken hearted terrorist, and a orphan daughter who has tremendous powers she cannot possibly begin to understand. You know, the usual remedy.

I have been working steadily and feel good about where the work is heading. But now it is time to ramp things up. I’ve signed up for NaNoWriMo, which means I will need to triple my word count for November which means I will be focused on my Other Projects for a while. I’ll try to post from time to time, but for now just want you to know I’m still here.