They were nearing town when Frieda broke the silence. “What’s she like?”
Sebastian had been lost in his own thoughts of Lana and, for a moment, felt stupefied by the question. How best to describe the tender perfection of her smile? The frail wafer of her laughter? How best to describe the beauty of her soul?
“She is to me a kind of salvation. She is a rescue from the banal, unchanging yawn of heaven. She is worth to me every price I have paid and will pay. She is the north and south and east and west.”
Frieda laughed. “That’s horse shit.” And then, seeing that she had hurt Sebastian, she said, “Sweet words. But girls don’t need sweet words. Guys are always standing around ready with the sweet words, just hoping they can find the right mix to get the girl to swoon into bed. Few hours later, the words are gone, the guys are gone. If the girl’s lucky, she’s got a bit of laundry to do. If she’s worse than lucky, she’s got another mouth to feed.”
Sebastian considered for a bit. Then, “It isn’t like that with us. Our love isn’t merely carnal. It isn’t the rude of fact two bodies answering one another. I have given more than I can bear to describe just to be with her. I will find her. We will be together.”
Now Frieda wasn’t laughing. “I like you, but you’re starting to freak me out a little. Does this girl even know you are coming?”
That was a fair question. Sebastian had not stopped to consider that Lana might not realize he was coming to her. He considered for a few miles. “She knows. I made a promise. She knows I cannot break my promise.”
But that was not exactly true, was it? He had broken the Sacred Oath to be here in this car. To have his feet placed on the earth. He had shattered the expectations of his family, his mother, father and grandparents. He had created chaos, a mighty stir, among the host in heaven. He had certainly broken more than his share of promises in recent times. And yet, his promise to Lana was something different than all these other expectations. It was something chosen. Something uncertain, not foreordained.
Sebastian fell into a black mood. “You should drop me off at the next exit,” he told her.
Frieda nodded. “If that’s what you want.”
The rode the rest of the way in silence.